It was January 8th, 2025, a little past 11 PM. Gold had just surged to $2,650. I was staring at the TMGM trading screen, palms sweating, fully leveraged with 200K in my account, all-in on a long position. My eyes were locked on the candlestick chart—it felt like a life-or-death bet.

In my head, I kept thinking:
"If I don’t nail this trade, there’s no way I’ll recover next year."
And then... the familiar nightmare played out.

The chart reversed, plunged, triggered a margin call—and in minutes, everything was gone.

I. The Night I Got Liquidated, I Sat Still for Three Hours
I watched my account balance turn to “0.00”. My ears were ringing. The wind outside slammed against the window like a blade.

I cracked a smile—bitter.

"That’s it? Months of effort, gone just like that?"
"How could this happen? Didn’t I study technical analysis? Didn’t I predict the direction right?"

I knew deep down—I had gambled. I was overconfident, desperate to turn things around in one go.
The market didn’t just charge tuition—it took my entire 200K.

That night, I didn’t sleep a second. I stared at the ceiling with two words echoing in my mind: regret and self-blame.

II. The “Empty Period” After the Blow-up: A One-Man Review Room
For the next week, I didn’t touch the market. I uninstalled my trading apps, left the chat groups, and sat like a ghost at my desk, reviewing every single trade I had made.

I wrote down these questions and forced myself to answer them:

Why did I enter that trade?

Was there a stop-loss?

Was there any trading logic?

If this isn’t gambling, what is?

I saw a version of myself ruled by emotion. When the market moved, I was like a puppet being pulled by strings.
I wasn’t trading—the market was trading me.

I cried. Not because I lost the money, but because I finally realized: I wasn’t worthy of being called a trader.

That’s when I understood something crucial:
It wasn’t trading that ruined me. I ruined myself.

III. Restarting My Account, and Rebuilding Myself
After the Spring Festival, I funded my account with another 100K. But this time, I hit the reset button in my mind too.

I began treating trading like an engineer approaches a project:

I wrote a trading plan before every trade—no plan, no trade.

I stuck to strict stop-losses, no matter what.

I logged everything—my mindset, whether I followed the plan, execution details.

I limited each position to 2% of my capital, no matter how confident I was.

Most importantly, I learned to wait.
No setup? No trade. No clear plan? Stay out.
I told myself: “The goal isn’t to make money. The goal is to survive.”

IV. The Market Will Look Back at You—If You Don’t Give Up on Yourself
Starting in March 2025, gold began a solid uptrend. The market finally broke out of its range.

I spotted the opportunity and entered carefully, step by step. No greed. No gambling.

I woke up at 6 AM to review charts. I wrote a journal at 11 PM every night. I treated trading like a real job.

I no longer looked at my account balance—only at whether I had followed my system.

And then came May.

Gold surged past $3,250. I looked at my account: 800K.

I froze for a moment. And my first reaction?
Close the position. Lock in the profit.

That wasn’t excitement—it was instinct. A survival reflex forged from past pain.

After closing the trade, I sat on my balcony with a cigarette. The sun was warm, almost blinding.
But it felt real.

I whispered to myself, “I made it.”

V. A Letter to My Past Self—And to Anyone Struggling Now
I didn’t bounce back because of trading skills. I made it back because of mindset, reflection, and slowly sanding down my worst instincts.

I know many people are in the same place I was—liquidated, full of doubt, sleepless, anxious, ready to quit.
But if you just hang in there a little longer, study a little harder, you’ll meet a different version of yourself.

Trading isn’t a shortcut to riches—it’s a journey of self-mastery.

It’s not about defeating the market.
It’s about defeating that impulsive, impatient, gambling version of yourself.

So if you’re struggling on this path, remember this:

Your account going to zero isn’t what ends you.
Letting your mindset hit zero—that’s the real blow-up.